Monday, December 30, 2013

2013: reflections & review, 2014; predictions & resolutions

I've been thinking about how to write this post for a while, I even considered making a video, but decided to do it the way I can best; through writing.
Last year I made a video declaring I wouldn't dwell on sad things, and listed a bunch of good things that had happened to me during 2012. It was a good idea in itself, but this time around I'm seeing it a little differently.

I can't really put a label on 2013 saying it was a "bad" or a "good" year, because lots and lots of things happened. Some things made me sad, and other things made me happy, and that's how life is. After everything that has been going on with me, I now think it is important to acknowledge everything that happens to us, even the not so cool stuff. I could write a list right now of all the cool things from the past year and show it to you guys, but that won't make me forget about the bad like they never happened. I also don't want to make it seem like I have the perfect life, and as if everything is going great all the time, because going through rough periods is only natural; it happens to everyone. We need to accept everything that happens to us, regardless of how we perceive it, which is why this year, I've decided to make this review of 2013 a top 5 list; top 5 worst and top 5 good events that have taken place in my life this year.

So here we go.

Top 5 worst things 2013

#5: I was dumped by someone who I wanted to commit to long term. Now, these things do happen, and we can't actually help it in these situations, as we can't control other people's feelings. So I cried at first but then I sucked it up and moved on, thinking I was much better off without this person. And I really was.

#4: Had a panic attack at 2 in the morning. I've only ever had a panic attack once, and let me tell you this: it wasn't pleasant. I was in my bed and I couldn't sleep, and I was really anxious for some reason (probably my future). All of a sudden I started crying so hard I couldn't breathe, I tried to get some water but my hands were shaking, and I sat on the floor rocking back and forth until it passed. That's the good thing about them I guess; they pass, rarely lasting longer than 20 minutes.

#3: I had so high expectations for my own birthday that on the very day I started crying and was disappointed (all of these have to do with crying, I've noticed...). Luckily I had my favourite cousin there to support me, and in the end it was just another day.

#2: A close friend of mine decided to end our friendship. Again, this is never something we can help. I'm sure whatever reasons this person had make sense in their head, even though they don't in mine. At least I was able to get the explanations I needed to move on.

#1: I was sexually assaulted by a "friend". Now, before you ask, yes, I am fine. I'm still alive and I'm breathing and stuff, no worries. To be honest, I'd say I'm more traumatised by the period after, where I was repeatedly told to report it because they take these things very seriously here in France, but then not believed by the police. This has created a lot of unnecessary trouble for me, but I've got no other choice than to try and move on with my life. I'm a fighter, and I can't let something like this get to me (even though it kinda sucks). Surprisingly enough, this was the only time on this list I didn't cry.

Top 5 good things 2013

#5: I moved out from my mom's house (and to another freaking country). I'm growing up and becoming independent n shit. It's scary, for sure, but at least I'm free now to do whatever it is I want with my life.

#4: I managed to get a full-time job, in a country where I don't even speak the language, and all on my own. I'm so proud of myself, because I've struggled a lot in the past with getting jobs. I've come a long way, in life.

#3: Started the year off by swimming with dolphins. Didn't matter if I had a raging hangover and only slept like 3 hours. On January 1st 2013 I was up and ready to make the most of my last couple of days in Thailand with my family. And dolphins are probably the best thing in the world.

#2: Passed IB. The IB (International Baccalaureate) was the root to many of my worries, and I have broken down many a time due to stressing about it. Seems all this worrying was for nothing though, because in the end I got enough points to pass, and can now proceed to university whenever I feel like it.

#1: Rediscovered anime. Yes, this is the very best thing I did this year, because anime has opened my eyes to a whole new world. I've made some great memories, which you can hear more about in my 12 Days of Anime videos, and I've made some fantastic new friends. I even created this blog, and it was all because of that one gem called Fullmetal Alchemist.

Predictions & plans for 2014

But of course I wasn't going to end it there! There are still so many things to say about the new year! I'll start off with my predictions, plans, and expectations for 2014.

Some things I look forward to this year:

- Take a French class. It's about time I did this, seeing as working in a bar repeatedly saying the same words day in and day out isn't getting me anywhere. I hope to finally learn this goddamn language that has been haunting me practically all of my life. I can't wait to speak French.

- Get a new (and perhaps better) job. I wrote this part of the post before getting the new job and putting it on the list. But instead of just removing it, I'll keep it, to show how far I've gotten already. It was my goal for next year, but I already accomplished it. So I guess the goal now will be to keep it and get good at it.

- Going to university. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to study at university, and that is soon to be reality. I'm in the process of applying, and have picked 5 universities in England that I would like to study at. I'm completely syked about this, and I expect it to be a lot of fun. I almost can't wait.

Resolutions & goals

Lastly, I'll share with you my personal goals for 2014. This has nothing to do with what I think is going to happen, but more to do with what I want to make reality. I don't really like the word "resolutions" as I associate it with something that always fail, and therefore I like to use the word "goal" instead. I always try to make this list a short one, with only a few, meaningful goals on it. To be honest, I pretty much failed all of my goals for 2013 but one, but one is a start, and this year I want to achieve even more. 

- Learn French. I already talked about this, but I think it deserves a spot on this list as well. Not only do I want to learn the French language, but I want to know the culture better too. I better work hard though, seeing as time seems to fly around here!

- Cosplay. There are two conventions, one in Norway, and one in Paris, that I'm simply dying to go to in 2014. And I want to cosplay; I have already started planning the outfits. I hope this will be successful and done in time, despite my utter lack of sowing and crafting skills. 

- Learn to properly blog. I want to get a domain name for my blog, and perhaps more it over to Wordpress. I've been thinking about this ever since I started, and I've got in touch with some people who can help me understand how to do this better. Hopefully one day I'll be able to run this blog all on my own.

- Join a sports club in uni. I want to do something fun and active to stay in shape, and university offers a wide range of possibilities. I've always wanted to try tennis, but that was too expensive for me back in Norway, so I'm hoping I'll be able to do it once I get to uni.


  1. Good on you for getting past the bad times while having enough presence of mind to recognize the good things that have happened to you as well. Reflection, planning and goal making are all things i've never been good at, so I can respect the effort that gets put into it and think that you'll have a better year for it.

    I wish you all the best for 2014. You seem pretty darn good at balancing real life with your blogging and anime so I don't think you'll have any problem steering your life in the right direction.

    Bon chance, ma amie! Tu as tout les capacités pour réussir en 2014!
    (I hope my French isn't too bad >.<)

    1. Also, move to Wordpress! It's easier to keep up with what you post that way XD

    2. Thanks for your kind words!
      Tbh I also have lots of saved, unpublished posts for the times when I'm not able to write ;P I'm not watching as much anime as I used to tho, but that's because I'm following other tv shows and blogs on the internet. Also in the summer I saw like at least 6 episodes a day, but now I work all the time haha responsibilities (':
      Hopefully going to move the blog over sometime in the not too distant future. January/February is the goal I guess XD
      Your French is alright (: not that I'm one to judge, as my own is still pretty poor ;P Happy new year, and the best of luck to you!

  2. Hey Helene I'm realy sorry to read about all the negative things, I'm sure you are WAY to good for who ever dumped you ;) and there is a special place in hell for people who sexually assault others!! I hope France is fun, you where always good at the language :)
    From. A lost friend